“I don’t ask for the sights in front of me to change,
only the depth of my seeing.”
— Mary Oliver
***
I come here most days to say something. Something that will jar a memory or at least make me stop and see the beauty around me. Lately a bounty of memories have been surfacing, leaving me a bit melancholy, but also bringing with it an overflow of gratitude and love.
I just don’t think I’m looking for the big moments in life anymore. It’s more the simple ones that make for a beautiful day now. Like the sun rising and the moon dancing and the wind singing and the leaves grooving, and kids laughing and music playing, butterflies twirling, heart-smiles staying … and me being present to witness all these little beautiful things. This is what makes for a happy and peaceful life, I’m sure.
— S.C. Lourie
March is full of doctor appointments and rain. Both making it hard for me to focus on much else. By month’s end however, things began to turn around. Health issues are figured out and the robins return to eat worms and splash in the birdbath. We check out puzzles from the library, and Percy and I take up coloring in those fancy coloring books. The cherry blossoms take off and I find simple moments taking up space within me. All of this awakening a peacefulness within me that has been absent for so long.
I grab hold of it all.
***
“A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.”
― George Bernard Shaw
We spend a few hours cutting back shrubs. I tell him about the rule of thirds, don’t take off more than a third or the tree/plant/ shrub might die. For the most part we follow the rule, stretching it a bit here and there, fingers crossed. After we are done the yard looks tidy and well kept and I feel myself relax. Lately I feel the very same way about the thousands of photos I have saved in way too many places! I want to follow the rule of thirds, hunt them down and hit delete.
But suddenly overnight, spring is showing up everywhere and I am off, chasing that one perfect capture, ignoring the delete button, because one just never knows when we might want that photo back. So, I watch the count of photos in my Lightroom catalog grow and grow and do my best to keep them organized and safe. Yes, I am adding to the chaos, trying my best to remember the rule of a thirds, but I am not promising anything because spring is here and I am going along for the ride.
***
“There is nothing to be done but go ahead with life moment by moment and hour by hour-put out birdseed, tidy the rooms, try to create order and peace around me even if I cannot achieve it inside me.”
― May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude
I wake to snow on the hills across the lake. I think briefly about picking up my camera and then remember it is spring, and leave the snow to melt on its own. I pull out these images from the past few days and feel peace and lightness grow within me.. Today I will slip into my garden clothes, watching for sun breaks, and hopefully get out in the yard here and there. I will come in and make tea and listen to the birds scolding me because the feeders are empty. I will sit my tea down and next to the puzzle we have on the table in the family room where it will grow cold as I head out to fill the feeders. Later, I might tidy the rooms, but I am counting on something a bit more alluring to pull me in.
***
I turn off the radio, listen to the quiet. Which has its own, rich sound.
Which I knew, but had forgotten. And it is good to remember.
- Elizabeth Berg
everywhere I turn I see spring showing up
she doesn’t fuss if the rain opens up suddenly, or
if that last little bit of frost makes an appearance
she does her thing with confidence and grace,
and I do my best learn from her
***
